Flying Free
I am missing my beautiful brave partner, Michaela.
I miss her kind and generous heart. I miss the woman who fought for people who were being mistreated, advocating for the people who need someone to stand up for them. I miss her profound voice of wisdom and her heart. She had an amazing capacity for openness, compassion, acceptance and understanding.
She loved to talk and was also a writer. She was one of the most articulate people I’ve known. She loved expressing herself with the outcome of helping others. She looked beyond what people see on the outside and delved into the heart of every person. She loved to tell their story. Through her work, Michaela conveyed a more complete picture of who people are. Even in daily life, Michaela pointed out that the seemingly angry person behind us in the checkout line is more multifaceted than the emotion we see in that moment. She always said, “there is always a bigger story we aren’t seeing.” We are all made up of stories that require our grace and extend far beyond the surface. Like an iceberg, there is so much more below the surface that makes the whole person. This concept defines why Michaela was a defender in her heart.
Michaela loved her work and all of the amazing people who fought the good fight alongside her. She received late night texts, phone calls and emails asking “please can you help me...” express this message, story, idea or whatever was needed. She never wanted to say no to anyone because she knew the calls meant there was someone somewhere needing help. One small matter in the justice system can set off a chain reaction- a domino effect, if you will. Michaela did everything she could to prevent the domino from falling, because she knew its potential to create more problems for the client. She saw the defendant facing pain, regret, loss, fear, and every emotion overwhelming them.
We traveled across the USA gathering her client’s stories. I count myself fortunate to have been able to work by her side on so many cases. It was such a privilege to be trusted with that work. We both felt honored to record such deeply personal stories. There are client stories I think about every day, because the nature of Michaela’s work got under our skin. It planted itself in our hearts.
Michaela felt grateful to work with an enormously compassionate community. She was inspired by her brilliant colleagues and wanted to be right beside them giving it all her effort. Thank you to the amazing defender community for recognizing her talents and allowing her to help the clients. It was deeply fulfilling work for her.
Once she came out as transgender and was getting to know the local LGBTQ community, I saw that same aspect of her wanting to support that community. Person after person coming up to her thanking her for the kind, generous heart and words that helped and encouraged them along their journey. She never turned away anyone needing to talk, needing a hug, needing someone to just sit and hold that space with them. She helped people get through their dark nights of the soul.
Michaela and I were strong advocates of being supportive and accepting of all people. She inspired me to be better person. Michaela made it easy for me to be me. We didn’t always have an easy relationship. We had struggles and ups and downs like most couples, but one thing we knew is that we built a good foundation and we didn’t give up on each other.
Our relationship foundation was based on respect, communication, trust, and love. As the relationship deepened it made that foundation even stronger. Every day was about giving each other: honesty, vulnerability, openness, acceptance, and forgiveness. We invested in each other as individuals as well as a couple. I will brag and say we had an extraordinary relationship. As I said we struggled, but we always worked together to get through it. We always talked out our differences and worked to resolve them. We never give up on each other.
Besides her incredible compassion, Michaela also loved to take photos of our beautiful state of Colorado as well as other trips we made. She enjoyed road trips, board games, having coffee with friends, music, writing poetry, astronomy, and Star Wars movies. She was also passionate about politics, an aspect of wanting to help people. Michaela liked to bike, and eat good food. She loved the colors pink and blue, butterflies, and kitty cats.
She loved her family and friends. Michaela was the baby in the family just turning 50 a week after being diagnosed a second time with cancer.
She is survived by her older sister and brother, their spouses, three nieces and two nephews along with their significant others, and two children. Michaela’s parents are deceased. Her dad died a little over a month before Michaela passed. Her mom passed away about a year and half ago.
Michaela’s journey in this world was one of growing and evolving herself and living to speak out for those who need a champion. She touched every life she came in contact with in her unique and amazing way. She will be deeply missed, and yet, those of us who knew her best, will always carry her in our hearts. Every time we speak out for those in need, we emulate her life and bring her memory-joy. The world was truly a better place with Michaela in it and we, better people for having known her.