Bad Night

I can’t sleep most nights. I have more bad nights than good. I really can’t say I have had a good night since she has been gone. There is such an emptiness fills our home and in myself.

I sit in bed and stare at the wall. The next moment, it feels like the next moment, I look at the time on my phone that is lying on nightstand, forty minutes has past. I feel the dampness on my cheeks. I know I have sat in the sadness for forty minutes crying staring at the wall. The sadness consumes me.

It stings, it aches, it cuts me deep and I get lost in it. My heart and whole being feels ripped. Jagged pieces left.

I hate feeling the way I feel, but I know it will be this way for the rest of my life because my love isn’t a part of this life. It feels like she was ripped from my heart. She is gone and I am alone. I miss her so much.