Cancer Fog

I currently go through our house to purge, reorganize, and pack up things I can’t figure out right now. I have found all sorts of things that bring up emotions and memories. Today’s find was one that reminded me that although the last year was full of the cancer fog, it really started 2017.

As I go through things, it is interesting the roadmap of the impact of the start of the cancer. Michaela was first diagnosed with cancer in October 2017.

She went into the ER for gallbladder pain. When they did the scan to confirm the gallbladder, they found a growth on her kidney. In December 2017, the growth was removed. I have anger from the whole process and wish, oh how I wish, we would have listened to our friend instead of our doctor, but that is a story for another tome.

In October 2017, when she was diagnosed, the cancer fog descended on our house. We ignored so much around us. We did things to cope that weren’t the best for us just getting through each day.

Today I found unopened Christmas cards. Christmas cards from friends and family from 2017. Friends and family sharing captured memories. I hope they hang on to those memories as everything slips away so fast.

It also makes me so sad that I don’t get to create those memories with my love.

Do I open them now? All this time later.