Always a Woman

This is something I wrote for Michaela’s celebration because although she was a woman, she was a transgender woman and I know she wouldn’t want me to discount all her previous 46 years before she started her journey to transition.

You are going to see that I will use Michaela's name throughout these stories no matter when it happened. Here is why: Michaela was a woman. She may have presented as a man at one time, but that wasn’t her completely or authentically. She was Michaela under the surface wishing and waiting for a time when she could be her most authentic self. 

Here is an analogy as Michaela was the Queen of Analogies. How do you know if you are right handed or left handed? You know intuitively.  No one tells you. You know because it feels wrong when you try using your other hand. It just doesn’t feel natural. That is how being transgender was for Michaela. When a transgender person is walking around the world presenting as gender they are not, it just feels wrong. When they transition, it is like picking up a pen in their correct hand, it feels right. It feels natural and authentic. 

Before a transgender person transitions that still doesn’t mean that they aren’t the gender that feels right for them. So although Michaela didn’t decide to be her authentic self and call herself a transgender woman until late in her life, it doesn’t discount that she was still a woman. She was a woman at 5, 16, 25, 40, and 50. She was a woman wearing men’s clothing, sporting a goatee, or a 5 o’clock shadow. How a person looks externally doesn’t determine gender. 

So, we celebrate Michaela in all of her life from birth until death and how she will affect each of us for the rest of our lives. 

Link that discusses science behind gender: https://blogs.scientificamerican.com/voices/stop-using-phony-science-to-justify-transphobia/