M came out to me as transgender in 2016. Although I wasn’t told until then, I had always known unconsciously from the moment we met. M felt like a woman trapped in a male body.

I strive to be open, and authentic in my life, but I feel we all have layers that no one gets to see. When things are such a struggle, I tend to go quiet, and hide under the blankets in bed

This week will go down as a bad one. Hard to find positives sometimes. Some positives are the fact: "hey I'm still breathing, can still walking, able to talk and do some things.

Life really changed for us in 2020. Whether it was facing a new life-changing diagnosis or dealing with the COVID-19 virus.

M and I were pretty much doing self isolation, before all this too, but of course this brings it to a new level.

It resonates on those days when one has the big “c” because there are days like that. When the pain, fatigue and other symptoms just seem to gradually dim the soul.

We are doing one or two appointments a week last week and the next which is better than four days a week.

The growths on the liver have shrunk. The spleen not yet. No new growths. All blood numbers are still improving.

Since December when all of this shot out of a canon we have lived on a 24-48 hour calendar

The lows and highs over the last couple months has been difficult. I have been incredibly overwhelmed at the love and support around us

As we have said good days and bad days. Last weekend was amazing, good energy, good appetite, good appointment with Dr. G that showed health improvements.

Michael and I can’t begin to express our sincere gratitude to everyone who reaches out with thoughts, prayers, notes, and help.

Michael had a check in with Dr. G yesterday. Before the second infusion, Michael had blood tests. They came back better.

We have to laugh. We have to find moments that make us laugh. Even if it is jokes only we get.

Grand Valley Oncology is phenomenal. M and I have never had such positive medical experience.

Tonight a beautiful friend of ours gave us an extraordinary act of compassion and friendship. Shelby, we can’t thank you enough for tonight. We are so grateful to have you in our circle.

Michael is right he has shy veins. The first infusion it took the nurse a few times to get one. Yesterday’s labs, the nurse found one, but it didn’t want to keep going to fill all the tubes.

I am sorry I've been quiet on here so far. Ever since that first treatment it has been an uphill/downhill battle in just understanding what was happening to me after my first treatment.

We all know someone who has had cancer and heard them say, “there are good days and bad days.” Now I know what that means on a personal level.

This is the names of the infusions and chemo drug Michael is taking. Both go by their trade names. The infusion goes by Keytruda. The pill Michael takes is Inylta.